RFK Jr.'s Dunkin' brainworm

NEWS ITEM: Citing Dunkin’ Donuts, Health Sec. Robert F. Kennedy Jr. hints at a crackdown on sugary coffee drinks.

The hotly contested chase for the title of dumbest Trump administration official has a new leader in the clubhouse.

By dumping on Dunkin’ Donuts (and - blecch - Starbucks), Kennedy is not only taking aim at the two most popular US coffee chains, but also stepping firmly onto the third rail of American politics - nanny-state efforts to take away our sugary treats.

Or maybe it’s the brain worm talking.

Gov. Maura Healey was quick to capitalize on Kennedy’s blunder, posting a picture of a DD iced coffee over the words “COME AND TAKE IT.” She might have added - as some of the DD devotees we saw interviewed on TV about RFK Jr.’s gaffe did - the stern warning the late Charlton Heston used to defiantly holler as president of the National Rifle Association: “FROM MY COLD, DEAD HANDS.”

No wonder Healey understands the political toxicity of Kennedy’s rhetoric. It’s been over a year since the governor casually floated removing the sales-tax exemption from candy, an idea so unpopular she dropped it faster than a pinless hand grenade, never to be heard again.

But while Kennedy quickly shifted to damage-control mode, his Dunkin’ debacle should be understood in the broader context of the Trump regime’s war on Massachusetts.

This jihad is being waged on two fronts. There are the political assaults, most notably funding cuts and attacks on immigration policing policies. And then there are the culture wars, the wide-ranging efforts to snuff out “wokeness” and “diversity.” It’s their homage to former dumbest official contestant Kristi Noem, in which the administration mimics Noem’s defining moment by slaughtering not one, but two puppies named “empathy” and “tolerance.”

The backlash may persuade these geniuses to back off DD. But like Great White sharks, they have to keep the grievance-and-revenge cycle moving in order to keep hold of their dim-bulb base. So look for the White House to pursue one or more of these Massachusetts targets in the months ahead:

Did you know a medium-sized apple has 19 grams of sugar in it? OK, it’s the “good” kind of sugar, and that’s not quite Coolatta territory. But still, since Kennedy is so deathly worried about a “teenage girl” drinking an iced coffee “with 115 grams of sugar in it” (funny how focused these guys are on teenage girls), it stands to reason a kid eating six or more apples a day is in danger. So the folks at the Johnny Appleseed Trail in Central Massachusetts better brace themselves - the feds may cut your funding to the core.

Suspicious. Freedom from whom? Trump? Just look at the markers along the way, glorifying domestic terrorism. It’s no accident the trail is painted red. Does the National Park Service really need to be contributing to this Antifa-esque symbol of sedition?

More red! What kind of commie-loving fans are these? Imagine what Eric and Donnie Trump Jr. could build if we tore down Fenway. Besides, they stand in the way of total victory for the only team a true MAGA American should root for - the Yankees.

Just imagine - if we cut off all federal funding to the National Seashore and other aspects of life in this radical-leftist playground we’d free up enough dough to fund 45 seconds of the war in Iran. Plus, the place is too closely linked to the radical-leftist Kennedys. You know - John, Bobby, Ted.

Not RFK Jr. He might have been born part of that evil cabal.

But he wormed his way out.